Goals like ideas are a dime a dozen. It doesn’t matter if you have the best idea or the biggest goal, what matters is if you execute on it.
While having a goal is important there is a dangerous mindset that can creep up that causes more harm than good if you’re not careful.
What do I mean? Well when we set goals, we’re setting high expectations of what we want in the future. Usually their big dreams, big accomplishments, and big wins. When we create big visions for ourselves, we must be careful to not live in the state of “I’ll be happy when…” The “I’ll be happy when” syndrome causes us to become anxious over the future and become unattached to our present. The “I’ll be happy when” syndrome sounds like…
I’ll be happy when I close that deal.
I’ll be happy when I get married.
I’ll be happy when I make more money.
I’ll be happy when I live in the penthouse apartment.
By creating this altered circumstance based state of happiness, we are putting restrictions on our happiness and making it something to experience in the future. But we must remember that happiness can be found right here and right now. Exterior materials can’t produce happiness. It can only be felt within you, and it’s available whenever you chose to experience it.
By living in an “I’ll be happy when” mindset we often lose track of all we’re accomplishing right now. We ignore all our little wins that help us get to those big dreams.
By remembering that small hinges swing big doors, we can bear in mind that all the small wins we’re producing are worth celebrating!
Now that we covered the mindset to be aware of getting stuck in let’s uncover a revolutionary way to set goals, created by my mentor Danielle Laporte.
Step 1. Write down your goals in three areas of your life.
3.Relationships- (romantic, family and friendships)
Step 2. Uncover how gaining these goals will make you feel.
When setting a goal dig deep into how achieving that particular goal will make you FEEL. Dig deep and discover what Laporte has coined, your core desired feelings.
Ask yourself why. Why do you want to close that deal? Is it because it will make you feel successful?
Step 3. Go deeper.
What does success mean to you? Uncover the meaning of success for you, in your own terms. Stay away from these ambiguous terms, define that feeling for yourself. Staying with this successful example, maybe success means achievement. And achievement to you means appreciation. And appreciation to you means to feel valued.
BOOM! Valued is one of the core desired feelings you’re seeking.
Once you narrow down 3-5 of the feelings, these goals will give you write them down. These are your “core desired feelings.”
Now is when the fun begins.
Step 4. Recognize that these are the feelings you’re craving to experience most this year.
Remind yourself daily of these 3 core desired feelings. You can write them daily. Set alarms throughout the day to remind you. You can make them your home screen.
Step 5. Now as you go about your day to days find occasions that can allow you to feel one or all of your core desired feelings.
It’s important not to enter the world knowing these 3 desired feelings and making it other people’s job to make you feel them. Instead set up the rules so you can bring these feelings into your world. Choose to feel them regularly through your intentions. Bring them with you to your meetings. Find times to pause and engage in the feelings. Maybe you will buy yourself flowers, maybe you will make more phone calls home to chat with your mom, or maybe you will allow yourself to take an afternoon nap. Whatever it is you need to do to feel the way you want to – do it.
Studies show when we are happy, we’re more productive. I’m willing to bet that if we’re feeling the core desires, we want most, we will also be more productive.
By reverse engineering the feelings our big goals will create for us and finding ways to feel them without having those achievements tangible yet, we can alter our reality and create a lasting impact on our psyche.
There you have it the NEW way to set goals with a little-added soul.
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